First Encounters In The Craft

FIRST ENCOUNTERS WITH THE CRAFT

I draw now upon some writings from my days of study in Witchcraft. I came into the pagan worldview very naturally, indeed I had grown to view the world this way almost entirely independently of any teachings however the reason I came to the very threshold of initiation was that I was drawn by the beauty of the magickal workings of the craft and it was happy coincidence that my theological viewpoint turned out to be in such close harmony with that of witchcraft. I had of course been practicing qabalistic ritual magick for some time but I was not terribly comfortable with the hierarchical and patriarchal nature of the pantheon of spiritual beings I had been dealing with. For sure I recognised and communicated with feminine aspect entities but somehow there seemed to me to be a masculine bias to the work and I searched for a more balancing angle. I encountered witchcraft primarily through a couple of books, "Wicca, The Old Religion In The Modern Age" by Vivian Crowley (no relation!) and "Witchcraft" by Robin Skelton, both excellent introductions to the myth and magick of the craft. But, as ever in my life and in the pursuit of magick, it was a quirk of what appeared to be coincidence that finally led me to a coven and my steps on the path of initiation.

I had become highly interested in journalism surrounding the phenomenon of "psychic questing" of which I shall write a good deal more later and as a consequence I was pursuing the significance of Devereaux's ley line that runs through northern Nottinghamshire and, of course, Sherwood Forest. While out in the forest one sunday morning I came across some curious bundles of twigs tied up with red wool in some bushes and, recognising them as significant, set about psychoanalysing them. As I knelt in silence and received a bit of a jolt from the dissipated energy they had until recently contained I heard someone on the other side of the bushes moving about. Walking around I came upon a woman in her early forties collecting up the bundles which were much more numerous on the other side of the bushes. Exchanging pleasantries I was able to ask in a roundabout way what she was doing and I was taken aback at her matter-of-fact explanation that it was the remains of a previous night's meeting. Sensing that I was required now to identify myself as either an ignorant or learned person I asked if it was a good coven. She was disarmingly open and we chatted for a few minutes about the way of the world and I explained to her my own quest. As we walked back together to the car park she told me that a few members of the coven were meeting that lunchtime in a nearby pub and invited me to join them to continue our conversation. I did so.

It would be wrong of me now, for numerous reasons, to name any names, especially since I have not had any contact with the coven members for some years and am not therefore able to substantiate any individual's acquiescence to being named so I will refer to the lady I met as Margaret which is not her real name. Margaret was the coven's mother-priestess and it was clear that she was on the look out for potential new members as well as being more than ready, like myself, to discuss all matters spiritual at the drop of a hat. She was very forthright and sensible in her opinions and I liked her a great deal, more than a little for her openness and willingness to hear views that differed from her own. We swapped contacts and over the course of the next few weeks became friends as I did with her husband and the three or four other coven members I had met in the pub that day. Eventually I was asked if I'd like to attend a circle at Margaret and Michael's (another changed name) home. I fell very naturally into the current of their ideals and I determined to construct a working which invoked some of the forces we had been discussing with a view to determining if the path I was on was the right one for me. I set about designing a ritual in the familiar pattern of my magickal practices but working with different forces. I even used a new form of the pentagram banishing rite and the expression of the circle of protection but decided that, to be on the safe side, I would still include the qabalistic cross and the tetragrammaton names around the circle - belt and braces method!

The ritual sketched out like this:

Qabalistic cross

Invocation of the pentagram - Instead of the usual ritual words I simplified this to a single pentagram invoked thus:

"Let me know by the spirit of air,

By the spirit of water may I dare,

By fire let me wield my will,

And by earth be silent still,

And in their heart and height,

May I tread my path aright."

Cleansing Invocation - "Spirits hear me and have mercy. Cleanse my iniquity, my impurity. Purge me with hyssop that I be clean. Create within me a clean heart renew within me the right spirit that I may be whole and one."

Visualisation (facing south) - Looking out to infinity and approaching silence and stillness of the mind. Visualisation of a tiny star in the distance of infinity. Growing, increasing slowly until it cascades over me, first with light then with clear clean water, refreshing, cleansing me and washing away all worldly worries. Infusing the water with light from the star and finally projecting out from heart level a blazing ray of pure white light into a circle around me with the following invocation:

"From my very heart of being I extend the circle, by the lady and the sky mother let no discordant influence enter herein, by the lady so mote it be!"

The usual awakening of the four quarters by visualisation (but not with the usual ritual motions):

South - red - flame - lion

North - yellow - wind - angel

West - blue - waterfall - eagle

East - green - hill - bull

"The four surround me, fire above, water below, I am the heart of the four, I am the centre of my being, the centre of my universe and I am blessed by them."

Visualisation of the coloured beams from each quarter coming together to cross me red vertical, blue across, yellow back to front with green glowing at my feet and white in the centre blazing.

Facing south again I contemplate the flame of a candle, seeing it as an upwardly flowing teardrop of light, I become one with it, breather with it and project my awareness and consciousness through its tip in order to contact entities and have my questions answered.

I then give thanks and farewell to each of the four quarters, sending back into each the beams of light before turning south again:

"I give thanks and praise to the great sky mother for the awakening of this knowledge and light within me and for the perception I have been granted of the truth without. Blessed be!"

Re-absorb the circle as follows:

"I absorb this circle of light, love, life and protection into my heart of being and I return this place and myself to our former levels"

Banishing pentagram (reverse of invoking)

Clap 4 times and say aloud:

"Let this working on the path to inner light be complete! Blessed Be!"

I worked this ritual in June 1993 on a glorious early morning with dew still on the ground and the sun just risen in the east. When I had done I flung open the big patio window and went into the garden to bask in the light. My vision through the flame was as follows (quoted from my magickal record of the time):

"First came the beautiful girl dressed in a long white gown. She was young and bright and when I asked her if witchcraft was for me she kissed me on the groin and I felt great desire spring up in me. She said "I offer you love if you will accept it, join the coven." Then came an older woman dressed in grey, it was Margaret! She said "I cannot choose for you Ashley, but if you wish to learn I will teach you and life will be yours" then she kissed me on the chest (heart?) and I felt understanding. She backed away and then came an old woman dressed in black. I asked her if i should join the coven and she said "All things must come to end, your time as it has been is now over, your time that is coming will end too, do not be sad for always I have light for you" then she kissed my forehead and I immediately returned from the flame."

I of course took this all to mean that I should stay with the coven for now and that it was not yet time to choose to commit to it although I would study and work towards initiation. Margaret knew at our next meeting that I had been in touch with her and she also knew that the goddess had spoken with me and had encouraged and warned me about my place in the craft. I began to attend some of the coven meetings and I helped as a probationary member with the trivial details of sorting it all out. I knew that there were some tensions in the group and although I was often excluded from the last part of a rite it was clear as we worked on the cone of power that there was a discord somewhere in the group. As the months passed I came to write and work a number of rituals of my own while greatly enjoying the group work of the coven. I also became more heavily involved in a black quest for a dark group of ritual magicians and this I think clouded the inroads I had made into my life as a witch. It ruined it in the end but not before one meeting of the coven where there was a bitter argument and Margaret told us all, as calmly as ever she spoke, that she was disbanding the coven because of the dwindling interest on the part of most of us and the bitter infighting which, she said, undermined her authority and detracted from the purpose of the coven as a whole. It was a very sad day and although I had no real understanding of the debate as other than someone getting too conceited and above his station I felt Margaret was wrong. To her great credit she came to see each of us and she asked me if I still wanted to be initiated. I told her I did and said nothing about my increasing doubts which were, I confess to my shame, were more about increased duties in the coven than any great moral objections. She suggested I contact a friend of hers in Sheffield who ran a similar coven and said that she's be happy to speak on my behalf to them. I consented and I went to meet them a couple of weeks later.

I combined my day with a concert in the evening in Sheffield which was, with hindsight, a mistake. That said I don't think I would have liked the coven and its "High Mother" any more if I had not had so much on my mind that day. The world seemed to me to have enough meglomaniacs in it and it was just this sort of hierarchy which I had detested in my qabalisitc pursuits and which had drawn me to witchcraft in the first place. I realised pretty quickly that I did not want to exchange a patriarchal hierarchy for a matriarchal one!

Thus my days as a probationary witch were ended but I had come a long way. I learned a great deal more respect and love for the planet and I brought a creative and imaginative touch to my ritual work that was clearly lacking before. It would be very unfair to treat my time with the coven as giving me no more than a better way of practicing ritual magick as I feel that I grew a great deal spiritually in that time. I had succeeded in drawing mysticism into my magick in a real sense that brought my studies to life for the first time. Magick became less an occupation and more a way of living and of thinking to me, it made me consider much more the forces I was used to working with as living entities with rights to respect and fair dealings and I believe also I came to imbue my fellow humans with more such rights than perhaps I had done before. In failing itself the coven seemed to have done a great deal to show its members that there is always so much more to learn about each other and, as ever in life and magick, hope anew was born in the dying flames of what was the world we knew.

I will of course be expanding my writings on my studies during my time with the craft in the fullness of time but I wanted to get this piece written now for the benefit of my pagan friends in order that they might understand better how I came to my viewpoint on witchcraft and how I cannot truly describe myself as an initiated witch although I do indeed describe myself as a witch on the grounds that i think being a witch is something inside of you and is a totally different thing from being initiated into a coven.

For now I am happy to be able to continue to incorporate witchcraft images into my magick and continue to expound the pagan worldview. Blessings and light be upon you all.

NOTE: I re-read this in 2003 and realise that it would be truer to say I now incorporate my magick into my witchcraft than vice versa.